Yes, I was a thief...but you have to understand how perfectly trapped I was.
At the time, I was visiting my cousin's house on a family vacation and, being bored, had picked up a toy catalog to peruse for pleasure (and longing.) As I was turning the pages, mourning the fact that all the pictured items were too expensive for me to own, something caught my eye. Low and behold, a crisp $20 bill sat before me, stuck between the pages of the heavy magazine. After furtively glancing this way and that I took it, dreaming of all the joy $20 could bring me. No one knew.
So I was a thief, but that's not all. I also became a liar.
A month later that 20$ was burning a hole in my pocket and one day, as I walked through a store with my family, I couldn’t resist bragging to my younger brother (what was I thinking???) I confidently declared that I could afford anything in the store and showed him the money. Like any younger brother would be, he was deeply affronted by my unfair advantage and immediately told my parents of my newly acquired wealth. They questioned me closely about where and how I had gotten the twenty dollars. Fearing great and terrible consequences for thievery, I concocted a story about finding the money outside on our way into the store and delivered it with an earnestness that must have been convincing. Thus, I was able to keep the money and buy whatever I wanted. It was the perfect crime, and I was in the clear.
And that wasn't the only times I stole or lied. I remember a box of gum I stole from the church. To this day my sister still struggles to forgive me because, when I lied to cover that sin, she ended up getting the discipline that I rightly deserved (I really am sorry Sis, would you like some gum?:-).
But the truth is that in every case of stealing or lying, I never gained as much as I lost. The Holy Spirit spoke loudly into my conscience, afflicting me daily with his persistent goads. He was difficult to drown out even when flush with candy and new toys to comfort me. But like any self-respecting Snyder, I was stubborn. Instead of doing what I knew to be right, I stuffed my guilt deep down inside and ignored it for years.
Why am I telling you this? Because one Snyder Rule in our house is that we must be honest with God, ourselves, and others. I want my children to possess a radical, humble, self-honesty as they travel through this life. I want this for them, first, because it's right in God's eye's (it's the 9th commandment you may remember, Ex 20:16,) and that by lying they mimic Satan (a liar from the beginning! John 8:44.) But second, I want it because of the incredible damage that lying does to a person's brain (https://www.lifehack.org/589959/how-harmful-lying-can-be-to-our-health,) their conscience (Hebrews 3:13,) their relationships (Prov 26:28,) and their lives in general (Prov 19:9). Lying hurts a person, no two ways about it.
Stubbornness can be a good quality, and I know my children (good little Snyders) have it in spades. But I don't want them to use it like I did to hide their mistakes and lie to keep them hidden. Instead, I want my kids to have an openness and freedom about them--to have nothing weighing on their conscience before God and man. This is why this rule requires a three-pronged honesty. To be "honest with God" is to speak with him about all that is on their mind (you can't hide it anyway, Ps 139:2!) Honesty allows them to admit their guilt and access God's forgiveness (1 John 1:9, see also Prov 28:13) and encourages them to take all of their complaints to the one who can give aid in times of trouble (Ps 10:1). Being honest with God dovetails with being "honest with themselves." Self-deception happens when they look into the incisive mirror of the word and then walk away. This lack of action causes them to forgo blessing due to self-deception (James 1:22-25). Lastly, they must be "honest with others." This calls us to clear and open communication with each other, secrets aren't kept and topics aren't avoided. This is much more easily done if you've already acknowledged your guilt to yourself and God.
I remember, finally, confessing the theft of $20.00 to my parents and calling my aunt and uncle (thank God I didn't have to tell my cousins--unless they read this post :-). What a relief it was, my conscience finally liberated from the lie. What freedom. I reveled in it. Since that early lesson, I have tried to live a life of radical honesty and now I am trying to teach my children to follow the same path. It may be cliched, but the statement still holds true: honesty is the best policy. (Now all I had to do was learn how to do that with a modicum of grace...a subject for another blog post, hint: it involved a lot of patience from Liz :-).
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