Are you familiar with "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books? Yes? Ok, well, the Snyder Rules are nothing like those uplifting little gems of positivity. Our rules are rough and ready, down and dirty, where-you-live truths for doing life on planet earth.
Let me explain.
When Liz and I began to foray into parenting we were, to be honest, flying by the seat of our proverbial parenting pants. We had experienced our parent's parenting (so we had a few things we were and weren't going to do:-) and we had seen some of our friends parent (and they were all in the same boat with us:-), and so we figured, "Meh. We'll just use our judgment and intelligence to do something that we've never done before and hope for the best. How hard can it be?" (To be fair, Liz figured out that she needed to read lots of parenting books early on, but I'm a slower learner.)
As our children grew, it wasn't long before we began to see in them traits from ourselves that we didn't like. The problem with seeing yourself in your child is that, often, you haven't really fixed the trait in yourself and so are very unprepared to shepherd said child through those most frustratingly recurrent life-issues (e.g., sins and unwise ways of dealing with life).
So, for example, I (Paul) have been known to procrastinate on doing hard things. If I think the job is going to be generally unpleasant, or if I experience a significant setback, or when the road ahead appears harder than the really hard thing that I just went through, I tend to fiddle in the middle--doing small things, but avoiding the obvious "BIG HARD HAIRY HORRIBLE THING" that is right in front of me.
And, thus in order to get myself and my children moving again, Snyder Rule #1 materialized: Snyder's Are Tough! With this battle cry, I am invoking all sorts of wisdom, like Luke 9:62 (and I paraphrase,) "If you are using a plow in your field, you have to look ahead towards the rest of the row instead of gazing around you, wishing it was easier. Do the thing in front of you that God wants you to do for the kingdom!" Mixed into this is the nuanced encouragement to "Stop Whining, Moses" (a close second to Snyder Are Tough, but our kids might have missed the reference:-) from Exodus 4:10-12. Moses is doubting his own abilities while God just wants him to obey and move forward, trusting that God would make up for those apparent weaknesses along the way.
So the rule, "Snyders Are Tough" means, "You can do the thing that God has placed in front of you without worrying about your capacity. Keep going. Give it your best and let God make up the difference." This rule also means, that the phrase "I can't" isn't a viable excuse, because Snyder's ARE TOUGH!
So "gird up your loins" (gotta love the King James!) and get moving.
All of the "Snyder Rules" are a short hand ways of encouraging each other on the path (and yes, if you are wondering, it is a bit humbling to have your own rule quoted back at you by your children--more on that in a different post:-). To be clear, the goal is not to brainwash our kids with some type of legalistic sanctification. That's been proven not to work time and again. Rather, the goal is to give them memorable rubrics to help them live in a world where work is unnecessarily hard at times, where life is frequently uncertain (can anyone say "COVID-19"), and our hearts are often "tricksy."
Over the next few posts we'll put you on the front row to some of our parenting thoughts in the form of these "Snyder Rules." They won't be in order (because they are never needed in any particular order), but we're hoping you'll be helped by them on your own journey. Enjoy!
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