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Snyders Try Not to Make the Same Mistake Twice: Snyder Family Rules

"To err is human, to judge divine." The next Snyder rule is built on the premise of this saying. And while we're quick to forgive ourselves when mistakes are made, we tend to expect nothing less than perfection from those around us. Parents expect perfection from children. Employees are suppose make manifest their bosses' vision. Wives expect husbands to arrive home ready to dive into the fray. We expect our friends to always “be there for us.” The list goes on.

The problem, of course, with all of this errant expectation is that it hinders actual growth. It is difficult to overcome errors if you always have to cover them up! How can you become the person you’re going to be if you have to hide who you currently are? That’s where grace comes in and changes our reactions.

We must learn to love God’s erring people. God “knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust” (Ps 103:14). Why does this matter? You know that person next to you—they are weak and are basically just dust! They make mistakes—even sinful mistakes and sometimes on purpose. You know the people in your church?... sinners every one of them. Your employees probably need to examine their work ethic, your children choose to disobey even when everything you are doing is for their good, your pastor struggles with discouragement (especially on Mondays), and your spouse doesn’t appreciate you the way he/she should. Oh, and that person in the mirror? They aren't where they need to be either. The truth is that we are more alike than we are different and we must see each other as God does. God knows our weaknesses and “is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate…” God sees those people that frustrate us, knows all their errors far more deeply than we do…and loves them. You should too!

We must learn to help (and be!) growing people. When God saved us, he did so knowing that we had a lot of growing up to do. The word “grow” implies that it is a natural part of the Christian life to start it immature and just keep growing (see Eph 4:15). The great commission assumes that when we become disciples, we are beginning a journey to learn (like experiential learn!) “to obey all that God has commanded.” You are here to help people find Christ and to grow people in Christ. Growth is what the writer of Hebrews was yearning (yes, yearning) for in Heb 5:12 and it can only come through patiently teaching the milk of the word (sometimes multiple times, see Heb 5:14). Peter starts his first letter trying to encourage growth (1 Pet 2:2-3) and ends his second letter with this same intention, that we grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. So…when it comes to the Snyders, Liz and I try to emphasize growth more than perfection. What will you do next time? What will have to change inside of you that you can ask the Holy Spirit to intervene? How will you remind yourself of the truth when you are tempted to play that video game when you should be doing school on the computer?

We must learn to be patient people. All of this growth happens while…people…change…ever…so…slowly (ellipses added to frustrate you:-)! Patience gets overlooked as a fruit of the Spirit, but I can’t think of a better way to determine how much I love my kids or <insert erring person here>. Love is patient, right (1 Cor 13:4)? It’s something we need to put on as God’s chosen ones (Col 3:12), and it’s something we need to have with every sinner whom God has allowed us to influence (1 Thess 5:14). Our children need to be patient with us and we need to be patient with them. As long as growth is taking place, we’re on the right track. This is sanctification!

Coming full circle then, if all of this is true, we cannot expect anyone to reach perfection in this life. That means that your husband, child, neighbor, brother, and fellow church member will always have some growing up to do. The Bible uses the term “sanctification” in three ways. The first use gets us started with the Christian life where we leave the old life and are transferred to new life in Christ (1 Cor 6:11), the second use is what we’ve been talking about—growing progressively through this life (the transformation of 2 Cor 3:18), and, finally, we are set apart when God decides to bring us on home, making us blameless in experience as well as position at last (Jude 24-25). All that to say, until then, for the Snyders, to grow is human and to facilitate that growth, divine.

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