I’m living on the opposite side of jealousy. That’s a weird thought.
About eight years ago, when Paul was in the Air Guard and finishing up school and intending to become a pastor in a church, I wrote the blog post shown below. Back then jealousy was pick, pick, picking at my heart. Fast forward to last night which found me on a plane flying back to my home in Izmir after a lovely weekend in Istanbul, Turkey. As I watched the city lights come in to view during our final decent, I suddenly remembered writing that blog post.
“Huh,” I thought, “I’m living the very life that I wanted so badly. That’s wild.”
The concept of “contentment” only feels significant when tied to difficulty, right? But Paul’s words to the Philippians indicate that learning contentment was needed for times of famine AND feast. He says, “I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13)
We tends to blow off that part about learning the secret to being content during the times of “plenty.” “As if it would be hard,” we dismissively think, “to be grateful when I have what I want.”
But I’m sitting in rocking chair facing one of the most amazing views I’ll ever have from a home, in a country rich with history and beauty realizing just how easy it is to utterly fail at contentment when life is exactly what you’d dreamed (#blessed .)
Here’s the truth: contentment can not stand on the unstable ground of circumstances. It will fall and get ruined by all the situations of life, whether good or bad. During moments of hardship it might be smothered by feelings of despair, anger, bitterness, self-loathing etc. But during moments of plenty, contentment might get lost in the carry-on luggage of your mind. It’s at the bottom of the bag, hidden by vague feelings of guilt (“why do I deserve this,”) fear (“This can’t last. I’m sure the other shoe will drop soon,”) self-righteousness (“I made this happen,”) or just plain old forgetfulness (“when *was* the last time I thanked God for this again????”)
Contentment must be based on something, someone that never changes.
This morning I re-read the words of my younger, slightly jealous self. I looked at that woman and realized that the words I spoke to myself then are still necessary for me today. I’m honestly amazed that God has given me the chance to live here. But just because I’m living on the opposite side of jealousy doesn’t change my need for biblical truth.
God is good and the gospel is real. Contentment is the result of realizing these eternal truths and taking hold of the daily grace promised to me…regardless of the view out my window
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