This Tuesday needs some Jackisms!

Not gonna lie here folks, it’s been a crazy two weeks. We put our house on the market (I have a blog post about that waiting in the wings), my sister is about to move away to Mississippi soon (sniff) so my whole family is trying cram lots of memories into this last week and to top it off, the Air Force still hasn’t told us where we are going (in two months!) Ack! The emotional roller coast has been…lurchy (yes, I made up that word : ).

Still, last night Brenn did something hilarious and Jack said something incorrigible and I was reminded that sometimes God lifts our spirits via our children. They are little purveyors of God’s grace. (Though, on occasion they also purvey other things from God, namely, testings and trials…but let’s not dwell on that right now : )

So, in honor of my children who make me laugh, some Jackisms. Hope that they make you laugh a little and brighten your day! The ones bolded are from Paul’s interactions with Jack.

Some gems from Jack during a recent car trip (he talks non-stop while in the car): “Mama, am I going to grow big and strong like you someday?” “Um, sure.” Pause. “But do I HAVE to grow a mustache?” (Whaaaaaat??) Then later “Mama, I see a car on the road.” “Uh, huh. I see it too” Pause. “Mama, can you please not crash into that car. I don’t want to die in a car crash today.” (Glad I inspire suchconfidence) “Mama, may I stay up and read tonight when we get home?” “No babe. It’s past your bedtime.” Pause. Looooong pause. Then, in a quiet growl, “Oh Mama, I do not like you very much when you don’t let me do what I want to do.” (heheheh. But isn’t that how we tend to feel towards God…when he says no to us? We just don’t say it out loud : )

Why are some sunday mornings so rough? Why do I have to have this conversation while I am trying to get ready for church. Jack “Brenn is crying!!!” Me “Why?” “Because he fell and hurt himself!!” “How did he fall?” “Ummmmmm……” “Jack. Why did Brenn fall” “Umm….because we were swinging from the curtains and they broke. And he fell.” Arrrgghh……

Jack announced that he wants to be a doctor. I asked why. “Because I want to help people.” I asked what kind of people. “The ones with hiccups.” (Guess who had hiccups all yesterday?) I asked how doctors cure hiccups. “Oh. They just make the people drink pickle juice. Lots and lots of pickle juice. Or medicine. I’m not too sure which.”

While discussing the healing process for a scraped knee I mention that God helps heal us. “Oh,” says Jack, “you mean the Holy Spirit?” Me “Errr, sure. I guess so.” Jack “Because, he lives inside of me, right?” Me “Errrr…” Jack “Mama. The Spirit is inside of my body and he is healing me. ” Me “Ok Jack.” (Long Pause) “Mama? You said that the medicine in shots helps heal me.” Me “Yes, the medicine goes into your body to help you.” Jack “So, does the doctor give me the Spirit with a shot too?! Is THAT how the spirit gets in my body?!” Oh dear. Our doctor visits have just become a charismatic experience : )

After probably our fifth “conversation” yesterday, Jack looks at me and says “Mama, I am just having a trying day.” I was pretty surprised that he knew how to use the word “trying” that way. Impressive! I said “What do you mean Jack?” “Well, I am just trying and trying to obey…but I just can’t. So it has to be just a trying day.” Ha! But then, don’t we all have “trying” days like that sometimes? : )

Awesome. Just sang “twinkle, twinkle” with Jack in harmony. Which he said, “was singing the same song… two ways…AT THE SAME TIME!!” : )

While sitting here working, I suddenly heard a blood curdling scream from upstairs. I raced up the steps and found both boys in the bathroom where Jack was curled up on the floor sobbing. While desperately searching for blood or broken bones I was shouting “What happened!” With tears pouring down his sad little face Jack hiccuped out “Oh Mama!! It is horrible! Brenn just flushed my elmo down the potty!! Can you please please get him back! Please Mama! I love elmo!!” Though I was sorely tempted to laugh (with relief) I managed to explain the finality of being flushed and I expressed my deepest sympathies for elmo’s untimely demise : )

While at dinner: “Jack, eat your food!!!” (how do I convey extreme frustration in a quote?) Dramatic sigh. Pause. Exasperated look “But Mama, my mouth can not eat and talk at the same time. And I just really need to talk to you guys. It is IMPORTANT to talk!”

Me (during a conversation about growing up, etc) “So when you are a grown up, what will you do Jack?” Thoughtful pause. Then emphatically, “I will grow chest hair. I will wear big shirts like Papa. I will play video games like Portal and Trine.” Well. Glad that is settled. : )

Me “Jack, what would happen if the moon fell right out of the sky?” Pause. Jack “Papa. That could not happen because the moon is un-fall-able.”

Today after playing on the floor together, Jack asked the question,”Mama, why is your belly all squooshy?” Since my answer (“because you were 9 lbs and Brenn was 10lbs”) didn’t make any sense to him we had the conversation about how God made a special place in Mamas’ belly where babies can grow from when they are very little to big enough to be born. “Oh. Like when you had Brenn in your belly and then you brought him home?” I nodded. A few minute later he looked at me and said “Mama, thank you for not biting me when I was a little baby.” I expressed shock and confusion. “You know Mama, when you had to swallow me….you know…. to get me into your belly when I was a very little baby. Thank you for not biting me then. It would hurt.” AH! What to say?! What to say?!

Today in the car I was only half-heartedly interacting with Jack as he rambled on from the back seat. I was startled out of my distraction when Jack asked (quite forcibly) “Mama. Why do you answer all my questions with “Uh Huh?” What does “uh huh” mean, Mama? Why do you say it so much?” Heheheh. Be sure your distracted-ness will find you out : )

While eating dinner Jack suddenly became quiet. The rest of us kept talking. He looked up and declared “How can I pray to God and ask him to help me eat my dinner with all you guys talking! I will never be able to eat my dinner now.”